Is Sex Ed Really Offering an Education?

First and most importantly, abstinence has been imposed on women specifically for hundreds of years and the continuance of such a narrow minded and ancient stereotype of women's chastity is hampering future young women from eastablishing their own sexuality as women and creating a division between the sexes. Also, this style of "educating" provides no information for teens to practice safe sex. A majority of teens are sexually active regardless of abstinence campaigning in schools and religious institutions, so why not provide them with information that will allow women to take care and control of their own bodies?

Our young woman should no longer grow up being ashamed of having a healthy sexual appetite or embarrassed of their maturing bodies. This sterotype is one way in which men may belittle women with words like "whore" and "slut." Abstinence and its imposition on women are fueling gender stereotypes that many current and historic feminists have been working to destroy.

Secondly, sex education is not benefiting male or female students who are missing out on vitile information to practice safe sex. Its surprising how little students know about facilities like Planned Parenthood that provide sexually active people with condoms, birth control options, STD exams, and regular check ups. The problem is not that teenagers are having sex, the problem is that they are mal-informed about how to practice safe sex and become aware of their options. I believe the rate of unwanted pregnancies and the transmittance of STD's would be greatly reduced if schools took the responsibility to inform students on their options. Ignoring the problem is not making it better and teenagers and young adults are going to continue to be sexually active whether we preach abstinence or not!

Thirdly, the idea of abstinence is important in many religious beliefs which should remain seperate from public school education. What a student chooses to do about his or her sexuality is exactly that: their choice. They should not be provided with one side worth of information because a patriarchal institution deems it "proper" etiquette. Students should be provided with ALL of their options whether the teacher/student agrees with it or not. We are only hindering today's women from breaking gender stereotypes and becoming familiar with their sexual bodies, something that is encouraged in males even before puberty. Students who do not want this type of education by all means should be allowed to be excused but why should we deny all teens information important to their sexual health because of certain religious or patriarchal views?

It is time that we actually give students an education in a sex education class and stop inflicting narrow and mysoginist opinions on our young women and men.

Hillary Clinton, Feminist Role Model?

I am so tired of hearing about Hillary Clinton as some advocate for women's rights and the advancement for women in politics. In fact i only see her as stereotypical hypocrite who did not consider setting a good example for her daughter, let alone thousands of women in the world, to no longer leech off of men for social advancement and instead rely on their own achievements and capabilities.

First and foremost, Hillary Clinton let her husband walk all over her and humiliate her in front of the world and instead of proving that women no longer have to rely on matrimonial ties to have a place in the political world, she stands next to him and instead the two make a mockery of marriage and gender relations in front of the world.

Had Hillary proved that she was a new and improved woman by breaking the old fashioned ideas about the subordinate and dependent married woman and standing on her own two feet she would have been a more respected woman by other women in the world. Just because she is a woman running for president does not mean she is the right woman to run. I admit it's a shame this country has not yet eleceted a female president; however, Hillary Clinton is the absolute worst woman for the job and in no way deserves the priveledge of being the first woman elected president in the U.S.

She also used her husband's presidential position to promote herself and encompass her own power but how is that really power when she needed to use a man to achieve it? These actions make her no different from any other woman dependent on a man to step on her own pedestal. My problem really lies with these two things. I know many women who had no choice to rely on marriage and stayed in relationships where they were physically abused, mistretated and taken for granted as well as cheated on. However these women stayed in these realtionships because they were entirely dependent on their husbands financially but women no longer have to put up with relationships like that...so why should the woman who runs this country represent old gender relations that kept women in a subordinate position?

I want my first female president to work just as hard as any other man, not use her spouse as a means to get her achievements. I want my first woman president to be a role model for the future women of america, relying on her own intelligence and talents. I want the first woman who runs my country to make me feel proud to be an independent woman because she is and because she has proven to the world that women are strong and independent that they don't need to rely on the opinions and approval of men or continue to stand next to a husband who showed the world that he feels no need to respect her as his wife and equal, so how can the rest of the world?

As our current Secretary of State I hope she continues on working on the feminist projects she has started; however, I find it very difficult to respect her as a woman and see her as a feminist despite her working on improving the current situation for tomorrow's women.

XXX Box Live!

Hey boys guess what? Girl gamers do exist and no I don't mean those half dressed, breast baring female characters from Resident Evil and Tomb Raider. There are women and girls who also enjoy shooting and racing games and are even damn good at it. But what alot of guys don't seem to know is that xbox live is not a place to hit on and intimidate female players. So whatever questions you want to ask the chick on the other side of the mic, let me give you some answers before you waste your breath:

No we don't want to be your friend on facebook or myspace, nor do we want you to say provocative things about wanting to fuck us, sorry we're "just not that into you!"

In addition, all we know about you is how your voice sounds through our headset and that you like to spend your week nights playing guitar hero- and of course there is nothing wrong with that but it is not the foundation for you us to get attached to you.

Furthermore, if you're a hormone-out-of-whack high school kid and have nothing better to do than hit on the opposite sex while playing video games, then you need to get yourself a Playboy magazine and work your shit out before you get on the game.

Some of us just want to have fun, play games, and meet new players, not get harrassed and stalked by jerks with no manners!

What\'s Really Important About Marriage in America?

Well as I am sure you have read, the state has made its decision on gay marriages, stating that it is unconstitutional and it is not what marriage is supposed to be. Being raised a Catholic, I always thought marriage was supposed to be between two people who loved each other, wanted to start a family together, and spend the rest of their lives together. However, marriage in this country has become everything but that it seems; marriage in this country is a status for the pompous white collar workers who want to make an impression on the higher-ups. Yet Americans continue to pass judgement on what constitutes a "marriage" when we allow all sorts of unconventional and distorted marriages to take place everyday.

I think by continuing to let couples marry for the wrong reason-which has basically desecrated the idea of marriage then future generations will keep destroying the sacredness of love and monogamy. Divorce rates in this country are already abominiable, so what would improve American marriages? Perhaps if it is legal for people to marry each other for the right reason (isn't love what marriage is about afterall?), we can rescue the idea that marriage is a serious and special commitment between two people.

Between the Anna Nicole Smiths who marry old men for money, the Britney Spears' who get hitched in Vegas for fun, the Hugh Hefners looking for young trophy wives, immigrants marrying for green cards, this country should not even have an opinion on marriage! The very people voting on these laws are the same people who are involved in sex scandals right now, humiliating their spouses in front of the nation with online sex sites and bathroom sex romps!

Perhaps the idea on marrying for love isn't a bad one, maybe it is something that should be considered. Because the message now is that marriage is between a man and a woman no matter what the terms are for the marriage. The most important part of American marriage is the sex of the individuals involved and not the marriage part itself.

I mean if we really went all the way back in time to the origin of marriage, it was more like a bartering system for men to exchange "goods." Since the wife was basically necessary for housekeeping and reproduction, she could be sought through the same means as cattle for milk or sheep for wool. Marriage to some degree fluctuates with the time period, it is now time to improve that idea again

All Men Are Created Equal?

New York State is awaiting the decision on Gay Marriages from the Senate, a decision that if not passed will be a huge embarrassment for New York State. Many people still tend to vote based on their own religious beliefs instead of what is good for the nation as a whole. But we seperated church and state for a reason. No one should be allowed to judge how other people live. In fact, catholics are supposed to believe that only god judges and people do not. However, catholics continue to judge others in this city and go against their own beliefs.

Let's forget the idea that all people should be allowed to choose how to live, of course omitting any life choices that break laws (by inflicting harm on others). Let's not think about the fact that this country was founded by people who wanted the freedom to pursue their own religions and cultures and now want to deny others those same freedoms!

So, with all that forgotten we can focus on the more important issue that involves gay marriages, which is the issue of civil rights. Because there are many groups of people in this country who know what it is like to be inferior to others, who have had to fight for basic freedoms, then these groups of people should be all the more involved in the basic rights of others as well. What Americans don't seem to understand is that civil rights for one group of people means a step in the right direction for the civil rights of ALL groups of people.
As a woman who knows what it is like to be considered inferior, who has read about the history of women who have had to struggle and then be punished and tortured just for desiring to be considered an individual, and who still has to deal with these ignorant prejudices against the female sex, I would not support laws that continue to limit the rights of human beings based on their sex, ethnicity, religion, or sexual orientation. So many groups of people have suffered already, we should not to be part of the patriarchal elite who think that they can make laws that dictate the lives of other Americans. It is time that old fashioned ideas die and a newer, better America is born.

Absolute Madness!

Not long ago I read Betty Friedan's "The Feminine Mystique" which was written in the mid to late twentieth century and the complaints and grievances were no different from those written 100 years before. Alot of the writing focused on one thing: that women oppressed and forced to stay in the domestic sphere were driven to some sort of mental illness because of their unhappiness and frustration. Still this is seen in many women writers nevermind housewives and this problem has been dubbed "The Sylvia Plath Effect." Because women, still today, display some sort of creativity in the arts are said to suffer from illnesses like Bipolar Disorder and commit suicide.

I found myself wondering, are we women mad or are we just victims of the patriarchy or maybe we are even a mix of the two? Of course, women who so easily conform or are comfortable with their feminine social expectations are neither concerned or involved with these issues, although they don't realize that they would benefit from absolute equality. Unfortunately, it is those of use who do not want to be expected to live and act a certain way, who want to make decisions that govern our own lives, who do not always act and dress appropriate to our sex that need to keep fighting for social equality, empower the matriarchy for a change.

Although, it seems difficult to achieve such goals when all of us who cannot conform are either mad or have the potential to be mad. Perhaps it is just the madness of oppression and its constraints that make us seem crazy or lead us to such severe depression that there is no way out but insanity and death. Just maybe something to think about before we go nuts...

Mutilating Our Little Girls

It's amazing how many violent and horrible things are being done to women all over the world and little we know about it in the U.S. Topics like rape, and torture like female genital mutilation are often touched upon on talk shows and new shows but we really don't do anything about them. Maybe we feel bad for moment that we are being told these horrible stories, but that's all. The reason that feminism comes in waves and dies out is because we as women don't stick together. We don't see each other as sisters, as a team. We're all in competition against each other and that's the way it has been since the beginning of time.

But when there is something as evil and degrading going on in other parts of the world, we forget that women really need to be united because it is our mothers, sisters, and daughters out there who are being tortured and rights for one group is a step in the right direction for everyone.

The topic of female genital mutilation is extremely important to EVERY woman in the world and the actual procedures involved are not often clear. However, the first step in improving a this situation is being aware of it and unless you watch Oprah you probably don't know all that is involved in this type of torture.

The young underaged girl is held down and forced to undergo the procedure either for cultural or religious beliefs but is the removal of most of a woman's sex organs necessary to honor god? I know lots of people have done crazy things in the name of religion but is destroying our natural bodies a sign of devotion?

Mothers are involved in letting this happen to their daughters; none of the women have a choice. Can you listen to your daughter screaming and struggling as she is being cut into- a torture that will only inflict more torture for the rest of her life because she is risking all types of infections and not to mention painful intercourse and child births

The first step to making a difference in the world is obtaining the knowledge; so even you inform one more person about the horrible acts that are being inflicted on women, you have already made a difference.

To Be a Mom, or Not to Be?

A mother can be a scary word to women nowadays because no matter how old we are all faced with the pressure of becoming mothers, whether it is from our own mothers or from society itself. And even if that wasn't enough pressure Mother Nature herself pressures us to be mothers by limiting the amount of time we have to get pregnant. So there starts the scramble of women, forced to juggle jobs, boyfriends, weddings, pregnancies, families, figures and motherhood.

Not much has changed in the minds of women from my mother's time until now, unfortunately. We all feel a certain pressure to find the perfect mate and bear him children all before a certain age, nothing is more frightening than becoming society's "Old Maid." I mean even in the card game "old maid" the loser is the one left with the single queen in their hands. Why is it that a single woman is such a horrifying thing? Do we pay much attention to men who choose to live out the rest of their lives alone, certainly they don't feel as much pressure to hurry and settle down and start a family before their good looks and child bearing years come to an end.

For women like me, who are not out searching for anyone to fulfill the role of "husband" right away but do want to be mothers some day have some interesting alternatives than my mother did. Now, I don't need a husband to conceive nor do I have to get pregnant at all to have children and have a family. Is my family any less of a family if I have no acting father and husband? Is my family any less of a family if it consists of two mothers or two fathers instead? Some families are not even tied by genetics at all but that does not prevent them from loving and taking care of each other nonetheless.

My family is not altogether happy about the idea of my becoming a mother without a husband but this conscienceness only recycles the idea to the future generation of women that they must grow up too quickly, find a mate, deceive him into marriage so that they may procreate and design the ideal family before menopause kicks in and their husband is forced to deal with an old lady for a life partner. Whether I conceive a child or adopt one this cycle breaks with me. I won't continue to allow my daughter to think in this manner and focus only on her body and its functions to dictate the rest of her life. The pursuit of happiness is our main concern as human beings and if what we choose to do inflicts no harm on others or ourselves than we should be able to accept the choices our loved ones make. Well, happy mother's day! Until next time...

Monogamy and the Modern World

Everyone settles because the idea of being alone is far worse than being with someone who depletes your self esteem. Is that what the idea of modern romance has boiled down to?

As a woman, I was taught not to let men step all over me, that it was unacceptable to forgive a straying lover, be spoken to like an inferior, give up all of my life choices to fulfill only the husband's dreams, despise lies and manipulation and abuse in any and all of its forms. But all around me I see that no one seems to abide by any of these rules, man or woman. A friend of mine continues to see his ex-girlfriend after she has humiliated him by sleeping around and posting photos of it on the internet for him to see, my cousin continues to stay with her boyfriend of ten years and two children despite countless infidelities and refusals to committ, an aunt of mine stays married to her husband even finding that he has had girlfriends on the side and peruses through online dating sites and my uncle wallows alone in self misery allowing his ex-wife to clean him out financially and emotionally, yet continues to see her in between her new boyfriends. Even I continue to pick up phone calls from an ex-boyfriend, knowing that all he wants are one night stands.

Why do so many of us allow other people to take advantage of us? Are love and sex so overpowering that we abuse ourselves for small moments of pleasure? Because even when a relationship is good or great, once it turns sour there is no going back to when love was new and innocent. We can continue to forgive and try to forget but nothing will ever be the same again. Aren't we just fooling ourselves when we continue to let others take advantage?

Maybe some of us are just pre-ordained to be the world's bitches, thinking that one day this person will change their mind, or that somehow we can change them? Being alone is a miserable state, being alone is torturous and scary. But no matter how low my self-esteem is I like to think I deserve what I put into a relationship. If am faithful don't I deserve fidelity in return? If I am honest, dont I deserve the truth? I guess it all comes down to one question really; everyone must consider the weight of being alone to that of being abused but attached. However, I feel like the world is cheating itself, cutting itself short by settling. Can it be really that impossible to find someone you can be friends and lovers with, someone who shares the same ideals as you? I guess it is that impossible, so many people will continue to stay in unhealthy situations.

There is also the other half of us who refuses to be a victim. I rather stay alone than be in an unhealthy relationship, watch others couple-up around me no matter how dysfunctional their relationship may seem, do I really have the upper hand? Am I cheating myself by not settling? Is it better to share your bed with a faithful cat than an unfaithful lover? As much as I or any of us drive ourselves crazy trying to figure out the best way to deal with monogamy, we can only do what we can to survive heartbreak and loneliness. However, I will continue to remain on the side of those who refuse to settle, no matter what that means. The modern world is no longer a place for hopeful romantics.

Good Witch Bad Witch?

I found myself in Salem, Massachusettes, absolutely in love with colonial history and the insanity that accompanied the Salem Witch Trials. Boy was I in my glory here, everything in Salem exhuded colonial history and everyone seemed as weird and artsy as I am. I had never fit in with my own family thanks to this weird trait, still not sure which gene pool I have swam in to obtain that. But anyway, I only ended up being there for several glorious hours and dreaded my departure. In the museum I was given a taste of Pagan and Wiccan culture which opened my eyes to a new and exciting way of living. What does this have to do with feminism? I know it does not seem to come together yet but please, be patient.

I have always grown up around Catholicism, a religion I learned to despise thanks to its hypocritical and sexists ideas and let me not forget its mostly judgemental participants, at least from my experience. How can I find solace and faith in a religion who tells homosexuals their way of life is wrong when they harbor pedophiles who rape and molest innocent children? Well, upon hearing the Wiccan crede, "Do what ye will if it harm none," I was immediately transformed. I know other people think that Wicca is weird and even evil and that witches come together under the full moon and summon the devil to get even with their earthly rivals. Well let me tell you that that is completely WRONG. Do not misunderstand me, I by no means am saying that Catholicism is wrong or bad. I know the church gives hope and comfort to many people

All I am saying is that there is a belief system out there that has restored MY faith in organized religion, I found a place where the way I think about the world actually exhists. Where power and creativity do not lie in the hands of a male god but a Goddess and a God. Both cannot exhist without the other. No where is there a story that says the first ancestor of my sex destroyed the the plan that god created for his human beings. I am not to be looked upon as the beginning of the fall of man kind nor the naive, easily seducted seductress.

As I have come to learn and respect Wiccan religion, I have also adopted it into my everyday life. Each day I hope to learn more and become a better participant in the ideas of respecting nature and my other fellow human beings. I can be proud to pass this on to my children, my daughter. She will know that she has importance in the world that being a woman is also as powerful as being a man. Like the sun and the moon, life could not exists with just the male or the female. No one is judgemental, no one is pushed away, there are no evil chants or devil worshipping. There is not even the existence of hell. I am sorry that the pentagram has such a negative connotation, just as being a woman does. Anyway, until next time...Blessed Be

Popping the Blogging Cherry

Supposedly every serious writer has a blog of some sort and I am not to be considered a writer without one. So here it is! I guess I should focus on some political issue or media craze but for the most part I honestly don't really care about that shit at the moment. Perhaps I am supposed to introduce myself? Well my name is Snella, not really though, I guess that would kind of suck for a real name but for anonimity purposes that will be it for now.

I guess I'm really fucking behind in the blog world because I focus mostly on fiction, poetry, and some articles here and there. But like every nobody that lives in one of the surround bourroughs of New York, chances are my poetry and fiction are going to just end up sitting in my own private library, read by random family members who either lie and tell you that your shit is good or just have no fucking idea about good writing all together.

Is this the best way to establish a voice in the black hole of cyberspace- maybe one person will read this if i am lucky but my "journal entries"( YUCK! -that sounds so high school diary) will probably not be read at all. Chances are I'm wasting precious time typing some bull shit when I could be editing some novel chapter I've been working on for forever, or editing some poem that sounds like shit and has been sitting on some shelf, neatly typed on 8 by 11 white, clean computer paper.

The truth is, which no one wants to admit, is that it doesn't matter too much if you can write as long as you know someone who can turn you into a writer. The world is missing Dostoevsky's, Balzac's and Wollstonecraft's, people who actaully observed life and were able to perfectly transcribe that life into words or use their words to stir up the masses and go against the grain, even if it meant getting stomped on because of what they believed.

That's what really means to be a writer after all, write what ever the fuck you want as long as you really believe it who gives a shit if no one reads it after all? Especially if having an actualpaying job means writing some bullshit you don't think is writing in the first place. I think I would rather still be some nobody who works at a dead end job than some famous writer getting trapped into writing some crappy chick lit or romance novels, shit that makes me want to puke. Of course no offense if you write those types of things since i am sure there are genres that exist that make you want to puke as well. However, after my dead end job i get to go home and work on stuff that I want to work on - write the way I want to write. Use a pen, a typewriter, a laptop-what ever the hell I choose. There is no right way or wrong way, no editor breathing down my neck telling me how to dot my i's and cross my t's. I want to be a writer- of course i do! But I'm a lot of things and I don't want to give those things up to create something that "sells."

So maybe I've been sounding off too much- or maybe not enough but for now I think I have had enough at my first go at blogging. I have broken the internet writer cherry and I think my mind just about clear for tonight. I guess worst comes to worst I can print this shit and have my therapist read it than maybe I won't have to talk about myself so much.