What\'s Really Important About Marriage in America?

Well as I am sure you have read, the state has made its decision on gay marriages, stating that it is unconstitutional and it is not what marriage is supposed to be. Being raised a Catholic, I always thought marriage was supposed to be between two people who loved each other, wanted to start a family together, and spend the rest of their lives together. However, marriage in this country has become everything but that it seems; marriage in this country is a status for the pompous white collar workers who want to make an impression on the higher-ups. Yet Americans continue to pass judgement on what constitutes a "marriage" when we allow all sorts of unconventional and distorted marriages to take place everyday.

I think by continuing to let couples marry for the wrong reason-which has basically desecrated the idea of marriage then future generations will keep destroying the sacredness of love and monogamy. Divorce rates in this country are already abominiable, so what would improve American marriages? Perhaps if it is legal for people to marry each other for the right reason (isn't love what marriage is about afterall?), we can rescue the idea that marriage is a serious and special commitment between two people.

Between the Anna Nicole Smiths who marry old men for money, the Britney Spears' who get hitched in Vegas for fun, the Hugh Hefners looking for young trophy wives, immigrants marrying for green cards, this country should not even have an opinion on marriage! The very people voting on these laws are the same people who are involved in sex scandals right now, humiliating their spouses in front of the nation with online sex sites and bathroom sex romps!

Perhaps the idea on marrying for love isn't a bad one, maybe it is something that should be considered. Because the message now is that marriage is between a man and a woman no matter what the terms are for the marriage. The most important part of American marriage is the sex of the individuals involved and not the marriage part itself.

I mean if we really went all the way back in time to the origin of marriage, it was more like a bartering system for men to exchange "goods." Since the wife was basically necessary for housekeeping and reproduction, she could be sought through the same means as cattle for milk or sheep for wool. Marriage to some degree fluctuates with the time period, it is now time to improve that idea again

To Be a Mom, or Not to Be?

A mother can be a scary word to women nowadays because no matter how old we are all faced with the pressure of becoming mothers, whether it is from our own mothers or from society itself. And even if that wasn't enough pressure Mother Nature herself pressures us to be mothers by limiting the amount of time we have to get pregnant. So there starts the scramble of women, forced to juggle jobs, boyfriends, weddings, pregnancies, families, figures and motherhood.

Not much has changed in the minds of women from my mother's time until now, unfortunately. We all feel a certain pressure to find the perfect mate and bear him children all before a certain age, nothing is more frightening than becoming society's "Old Maid." I mean even in the card game "old maid" the loser is the one left with the single queen in their hands. Why is it that a single woman is such a horrifying thing? Do we pay much attention to men who choose to live out the rest of their lives alone, certainly they don't feel as much pressure to hurry and settle down and start a family before their good looks and child bearing years come to an end.

For women like me, who are not out searching for anyone to fulfill the role of "husband" right away but do want to be mothers some day have some interesting alternatives than my mother did. Now, I don't need a husband to conceive nor do I have to get pregnant at all to have children and have a family. Is my family any less of a family if I have no acting father and husband? Is my family any less of a family if it consists of two mothers or two fathers instead? Some families are not even tied by genetics at all but that does not prevent them from loving and taking care of each other nonetheless.

My family is not altogether happy about the idea of my becoming a mother without a husband but this conscienceness only recycles the idea to the future generation of women that they must grow up too quickly, find a mate, deceive him into marriage so that they may procreate and design the ideal family before menopause kicks in and their husband is forced to deal with an old lady for a life partner. Whether I conceive a child or adopt one this cycle breaks with me. I won't continue to allow my daughter to think in this manner and focus only on her body and its functions to dictate the rest of her life. The pursuit of happiness is our main concern as human beings and if what we choose to do inflicts no harm on others or ourselves than we should be able to accept the choices our loved ones make. Well, happy mother's day! Until next time...