A Not so Feminist Interview

It is true what they say about meeting some of your heroes or people in the world that you most admire. They do not always live up to the standards we hold them to. I think it is hypocritical when women who work for the equality of other women are just not decent human beings to begin with. How can you believe in a cause that promotes civil rights and equality and than discriminate against someone? I had an unfortunate experience interviewing with a woman last year; she is well known in the feminist world through her writing, political activism and her work with women's rights and abortion. Currently, she is running her own Planned Parenthood type clinic in NYC. I had read some of her work before and had a skype interview with her assistant the week before the interview and I was really hyped about working for a woman that was not only an icon to the struggle for civil rights but lived through the second wave of feminism and had so much rich history with women's rights in NYC. I was interviewing for a position to work with her in her clinic and even if I did not get the job I was happy to be meeting her in person and hoping to be inspired to continue struggling in the writing world. I had taken a train through severl boroughs for this interview and was so nervous I arrived early. It had taken me about 2 hours to get there by public transportation. When I walked into the clinic I was surpirsed to discover young minority women scattered around the waiting room, surrounded by pictures of one white woman holding picket signs. Also, snipets of her books and articles published on her in picture frames adormed the walls as well. To me, Something wasnt right; this place was designed to support women who could not afford reproductive health care and instead looked like a museum or shrine to the woman who was in charge of it all. I looked around the walls and read the articles as I waited for my interview, still not sure why there wasn't more information on birth control and safe sex instead but I shrugged it off because I had traveled a long way and was very interested to meet this particular woman who was the star of her own wallpaper. When she called me into her office, finally; she did not smile but was very terse. She asked me a few general interview questions but hardly looked up at me and stood behind her computer screen. I went from being nervous to confused in an instant. Why had she called me down to come here for an interview when this woman was treating me like I was not even a person. Just by looking at me, she assumed that I was much younger than I am and therefore inexperienced which was extremely rude and judgemental. She flat out told me that I was a waste of her time and not what she was looking for without ever really taking her nose off the computer screen. I walked out of that room in less than 2 minutes without hardly saying anything about myself; she had treated me the way men treated women in the workforce in Mad Men. I turned the door knob to leave her office and wanted so badly to shout expletives at her and make her feel as small and insignificant as she had made me feel but instead I walked out and dumped her book in the garbage in the lobby and never turned back. I couldnt help but hold back tears as I walked back to the subway. It is overwhelming to be consumed with disappointment after meeting with a woman that sounded admirable behind a pen and paper but in reality was just enforcing the social stigmas she was supposedly fighting against. It all made sense now, why the clinic was a self absorbed shrine to herself and the women inside it were nothing more than patients, not people, not women, not individuals. And I was treated the same way when I entered. I couldn't help but be angry as well; how dare she think that my time is not as valuable as hers! I had traveled awhile to get here just to be treated like garbage! Had such an important and educated woman not gone over my resume before calling me and asking me to come in only to turn me away after a single glance?! Was I not the young white ivy league educated woman like herself that she was looking to hire? Or was being cruel to other women some kind of sick amusement? Some people do like to model the hierarchy they once struggled against; perhaps this was the case? I did not realize it then but I know now that she had done my a favor or I might be writing a sequel to The Devil Wears Prada at this very moment. So if she reads this one day and recognizes herself I hope she receives my Thank You. Thank you for opening my eyes to the fact that not all women who call themselves feminists and engage in social feminist circles are truly feminists or practice feminist ideals in their own life. I do not think that I am the only adult woman who has ever walked out of that office the same way and I am sorry for whoever really did get that unfortunatle position.

Not Your Grandmother's Breakfast At Tiffany's

I am a big fan of Audrey Hepburn and her work and I went to see Breakfast At Tiffany's live on Broadway with the apprehension that no one could play Holly Golightly the way Audrey portrayed her in the 1961 film. But Emilia Clarke was not Audrey's Holly Golightly; in fact, she recreates the character in a way that 1961 Hollywood could not portray Holly. Holly is a young woman who tries to escape love and the stigmas that are associated with it like marriage and patriarchy by using them to her financial benefit. In other words, she's a hooker. She uses men of course to climb the social ladder but men are disposable and she uses them as she sees fit; yet, they cannot help falling in love with her. We all understand what Holly's profession is in the movie but the rawness of her speech and actions is missing from the film,perhaps because it just wasn't acceptable to portray women with sex and vulgarity in 1961? We can even argue that she was a pioneer for gay rights as well! The film will always be special to me but I do not think I fully understood Holly's complexity until I saw the play nor did I appreciate the effect that Holly has on Fred's sexuality or his climb up the social ladder. Holly, in the play teaches Fred what society is all about and how the game is played. Holly might be, dare I say, a more feminist character than I had originally thought. We see a gender role reversal with Holly and Fred because the woman in this era is not trying to mimic the male work ethic and infringe on his sphere. Instead, Fred is doing what we might originally expect Holly to do and this is to copy male behavior to fit into corporate America. However, Fred is so disappointed with the white collar industry that he begins to copy Holly's tactics to gain higher positions and more money. In the end, Holly becomes almost like a legend who has touched each man's heart (and wallet, of course) but continues to disappear and reappear like a mirage. Holly does not end up happily ever after at the end with her male love interest. She foregoes love, marriage, and motherhood altogether even though she was so close to obtaining the American dream lifestyle for Friedan era women. She not only loses her chance to make that lifestyle a reality but I think she was more content and relieved to give it up and continue her pursuit for freedom. The play ends with Holly running off alone, to freedom perhaps.

Women Through Time

How well does history know women? We have been occupying this Earth for hundreds of years, we are 1/2 the population and yet century after century society enforces new social norms for women, completely neglecting their actual needs and desires.